DUMB and DUMBer You idiot yarns

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DUMB and DUMBer You idiot yarns

Post by Scrappy on Tue Jan 16, 2018 5:33 pm

My car vibrated driving home
I managed to get home
I didnt know what it was, but decided to let the car cool down before doing the oils/water inspections
2 hours later I did the checks and everything was fine
Took the car for a spin around the block, the vibration re-started
I stopped the car , got outside and smelt a rubbery smell
I put 3 + 3 together, and found the problem, I had my handbrake on !


I had a cluttered dashboard covered by business cards
The clutter covered the part where the handbrake light comes on the dashboard
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Scrappy

Join date : 2012-05-15
Posts : 3561

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Re: DUMB and DUMBer You idiot yarns

Post by firstblood on Wed Jan 17, 2018 10:31 am

Here's one...not a dumb and dumber about me but...
Went to Centrelink to advise them of some changes...Chatted to a lady at the counter, her response was...go home and ring Centrelink. Smile
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firstblood

Join date : 2011-08-24
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Re: DUMB and DUMBer You idiot yarns

Post by mickyj on Wed Jan 17, 2018 11:43 am

Me and Centrelink.
My solicitor needed to know my start date on benefits / Newstart. I walked to Centrelink on Henley beach road .
Stood in line for 20 minutes . Lady Instructing everyone is too nice more like an old bag lol . After 20 mins she sends me to the computer section to look it up . Waiting waiting another Centrelink employee ethnic Indian lady tells me it’s on your health care card . She noticed I have a pension concession card closed my wallet walked home.
My eldest was out he told me when he got home why didn’t you look on your health care card !
I felt stupid
But the ethnic Indian Centrelink employee had already torn strips off me for being unhealthy with my diabetes and brain injury she was shocked I have a pension concession card I raced out of that Centrelink so fast thought your not taking that away from me .
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Join date : 2012-02-21
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Re: DUMB and DUMBer You idiot yarns

Post by Scrappy on Sun Feb 18, 2018 11:07 am

First job
John Martins, during the school holidays
First day, a staff member asked me to go to the hardware section and bring back some striped paint ...
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Scrappy

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Re: DUMB and DUMBer You idiot yarns

Post by Scrappy on Sun Feb 18, 2018 11:17 am

High School
Fridays we had Headmasters exams
In the mornings we would go to another school , to do Metal work
Other classes in our year would do the exam in the morning
After lunch my class would do the headmasters test
I had done this a  few times before

One very particular time this happened
I got a student to get me a spare  sheet of a Biology exam
I used my lunch break to cheat from my Biology book and rehearse the answers
It was a dishonest irreprehensible act on my behalf, blatant cheating

The result of the test, was I got a fail mark, despite having the questions in advance !
Dumb !
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