Great Cricket Sledges

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Great Cricket Sledges

Post by Chambo Off To Work We Go on Sat Oct 20, 2012 8:30 am


Thought this spin off from the Great yarns thread would be quite funny.
I referred to a few from Swervin Mervin.................

Australia fast bowler Merv Hughes was never short of a word. During a 1989 Test at Lord's, Hughes said to Robin Smith after he played and missed: "You can't ----bat". Next ball, after Smith hit Merv to the fence, the batsman replied: "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't ----ing bat and you can't ----ing bowl."

Hughes and Smith shared some humourous times together. On a day of plays and misses for Smith, he of the mighty moustache declared: "Mate, if you turn the bat over, you'll see the instructions on the back."

Big Merv was at it again on a tour of the Caribbean. Hughes kept staring down Viv Richards after deliveries. Eventually, Viv snapped. "This is my island, my culture. Don't you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl," Viv said. Merv bit his tongue but couldn't help himself when he sent Viv on his way. "In my culture we just say ---- off."

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Re: Great Cricket Sledges

Post by Chambo Off To Work We Go on Sat Oct 20, 2012 8:40 am


Dean Waugh (Aus) and Richard Stobo (Aus)

Dean Waugh, the younger brother of cricket prodigies Steve and mark Waugh, had a much more modest career than his famous brothers. Never rising above the Grade cricket level.

During a Grade cricket game Waugh was struggling bad against former NSW bowler Stobo, and Stobo had a question for him.

“Mate, are you sure you aren’t ....ng adopted?”

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Re: Great Cricket Sledges

Post by Chambo Off To Work We Go on Sat Oct 20, 2012 8:44 am

Ian Healy (Australia) helps out his team mate Shane Warne (Australia)

During a discussion about the nature of the teams fitness regime Ian Healy was heard to comment on his good friend Shane Warne:

“Shane Warne’s idea of a balanced diet is a cheeseburger in each hand”

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Re: Great Cricket Sledges

Post by Chambo Off To Work We Go on Sat Oct 20, 2012 8:48 am

Bill Lawry (Australia) & Richie Benaud (Australia)

While commentating during a match in which Pakistan was performing poorly, Bill Lawry, offered a solution;

“I think Pakistan’s problem is they’ve got to relax”,

Benaud’s response ”I don’t agree. I think Pakistan have got to learn how to bat, bowl and field. It’s a simple game.”

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Re: Great Cricket Sledges

Post by Chambo Off To Work We Go on Sat Oct 20, 2012 8:52 am

Dennis Lilllee (Australia)

Dennis Lillee had a sledge that he employed against many batsmen during his much esteemed cricket career.


“I can see why you are batting so badly, you’ve got some sh!t on the end of your bat”

At this point the batsman would usually flip his bat over and examine the end, to which Lillee would respond,

“Wrong end mate”

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Re: Great Cricket Sledges

Post by Lee on Sat Oct 20, 2012 9:36 am

Nice, Chambo Very Happy

My favourite from playing, was in a game where we were being destroyed by a very fast bowler. He'd taken about 7/20 and we were about 9/60 something, when our No 11 arrived to face the bowler, who gave him some choice words that he wouldn't be there long.

Not to be outdone, our No 11 raised his bat and said "I do my talking with this, mate".

First ball, bowled.

Shouldering arms Very Happy Embarassed Embarassed

Everyone, including us, laughed.

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Re: Great Cricket Sledges

Post by Adelaide Hawk on Sat Oct 20, 2012 10:45 am

A favourite of mine when I was playing.

I was captain and an opposition batsman hit the ball into the outfield, near the boundary, our fieldsman slid, kicked it back and then tossed in it. The batsmen ran 3.

Then the batsman who hit the ball started carrying on about the ball crossing the line, therefore it was 4. I walked in to see what the fuss was all about. I asked the fieldsman if it was 4, he said he wasn't sure, so to settle things down I agreed with the umpire that we should give it a four.

The quick bowler wasn't pleased and stormed back to he mark, just as the batsman, flushed with victory, wandered down the crease to face up to the next ball.

The bowler steamed in and let the ball rip, it kicked of a good length, the batsman gloved it, and was caught behind. The bowler, still fired up, ran down the wicket and yelled to the batsman, "You should have taken the 3 .... f...wit!!!".

It may have been a case of "you had to be there", but it certainly made me laugh Smile
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Re: Great Cricket Sledges

Post by Chambo Off To Work We Go on Sat Oct 20, 2012 7:23 pm

When I played it was mostly for the fun. I was well past my prime and the ROCCS Good Old Boys didn't hit top speed very often. (How I came to play for them is another story for another occasion).

Here is a sledge of a very different kind.

We played the Adelaide Deaf team a few times in the lower end of the Adelaide Turf comp.

In those divisions there were no umpires, so it was batting team umpired.

I have to say at this point, we were not playing for sheep stations and I did like to think I was fair. OK LBW decisions always tended to be on the conservative side. So you had to be fairly middle wicket plumb to get an LBW call.

However, this wasn't the source of this particular altercation.

I was umpiring at the bowlers end. They had a fairly brisk quick on.
One ball pitched did deflect off the bat, but I thought it had been deflected down off the bottom of the bat and it then carried to the keeper.

Appeals from the Adelaide Deaf side were intriguing to say the least and you had to be concentrating to understand when one was made.

However, after this particularly exhuberant appeal, I felt it needed to be turned down on balance as I thought it didn't carry on the full to keeper.
Yes there was a deflection, but off the turf in my opinion.

Well, this went down like a lead balloon. All sorts of unusual gesticulations and grunts indicated a general unhappiness with my call amongst our opposition.

However, the sledge that I will never forget is the keeper, who was the captain, coming up to the stumps and bending over and pointing to his bum and then pointing to me.

At the very least I was purported to be an "a..hole" but I am not sure if it was intended to convey a worse meaning.

Matches against Adelaide Deaf were always lively!
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Re: Great Cricket Sledges

Post by Scrappy on Mon Oct 22, 2012 7:03 pm

Des Hoare was a fiery Western Australian fast bowler in the 1950/60s
He was involved in at least 2 on field sledgings

On one occasion he was bowling to South Australias Rex Sellars
Des bounced Rex and with an exaggerated follow through ended up a few paces away and offered Rex some advice
"' Why dont you get out while youre still alive."

On another occasion in 1959 Des bowled a bean ball at Queenslands star batsman Peter Burge
Peter responded by threatening to break his bat over Hoares head if he bowled another bean ball
Burges sledge more or less worked , as Hoare was some what pulverised
Peter Burge made 57 not out , Des Hoare ended up with hoareable figures of 1/74 [9] and Queensland won in a 4th innings run chase


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Re: Great Cricket Sledges

Post by Chambo Off To Work We Go on Mon Oct 22, 2012 8:22 pm

Berry / Warne v Slater

Michael Slater was playing in a state cricket game against fellow Australian team mate Shane Warne. Warne, not shying away from sledging a fellow team mate, decided to get under Slater’s skin by suggesting that his temper was like a time-bomb.
When Slater came out to bat, Warne and Berry began the sledging:

Warne “Tick”

Berry “Tock”

Warne “Tick”

Berry “Tock”

After several overs, Slater got impatient and holed out to deep midwicket. As he trudged off, he glared at Warne and Berry, who said in unison “Kaboom!”

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Re: Great Cricket Sledges

Post by Scrappy on Wed Oct 24, 2012 8:52 pm

Fred Trueman bowling
The batsman edges to slip, and goes between Subba Rows legs at first slip
Fred didnt say a word
At the end of the over,Subba Row says to Freddy
"'I should have kept my legs together, Fred."
Fred replies
" So should your mother."
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Re: Great Cricket Sledges

Post by Chambo Off To Work We Go on Sat Oct 27, 2012 9:05 am

Tendulkar doesn’t need to sledge

It was way back in 1989, and Sachin Tendulkar was making his debut in Pakistan. Sachin was just 16 years old, facing some of the fastest bowlers at the time, and there wasnt a single Pakistani that was going to let him forget it.

The Pakistani crows were holding up signs saying ”Hey kid, go home and drink milk” (Roughly translated)

Tendulkars response was to hit 2 sixes in one over from young leg spinner Mustaq Ahmed. Older leg spinner Abdul Qadir then threw his own challenge out to Tendulkar saying ”Why are you hitting kids? Try and hit me.”

Tendulkar again remained silent and let his bat do the talking. He hit 4 sixes in the over.

6, 0, 4, 6, 6, 6.

Just maybe the only time hitting boundaries has been regarded as a sledge! Very Happy

Dennis Lillee (Aus) vs Kim Hughes (Aus)

Dennis Lillee was never known for being friendly to opposition players let alone his own team-mates.

Lillee was bowling to Kim Hughes in the nets. Lillee fired off a nasty bouncer towards his captain and fellow team mate. Hughes bareley managed to avoid it bouncing off his head.

Lillee asked Hughes:

“Did I get you?”

Hughes responded “No, I’m alright”

“Then I’ll get you next time you bastard” replied a disappointed Lillee.
Very competitive was our Dennis.

Matthew Hayden praises Sachin Tendulkar

This might not be a sledge, but it is still a very good quote from one of the best batsmen from the Australian team that Dominated for a decade. I think Haydos also is a known Christian. On his assessment of God,

“I have seen God, he bats at number 4 for India”

(the number four in the Indian team at the time was Sachin Tendulkar)

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Re: Great Cricket Sledges

Post by Chambo Off To Work We Go on Sat Oct 27, 2012 9:32 am

Generic Sledges you can use

These might help you improve your cricket...........well maybe at least in the backyard or beach!

The only runs he gets is on the toilet.

Everyone hold on to something, this guy can't drive.

I’ve seen better batters in a fish and chip shop.

More leaves that a tree.

Swinging like a dunny door on curry night.

More blocks than a Lego factory.

Like an old lady poking with her umbrella at a wasp’s nest.

Beaten like a red-headed step son.

Watching you is making me a worse batsman.

You couldn’t score in a brothel.

If your parents separated, would they still be brother and sister?

Pass me the ball i have to pull all the splinters out of it.

He’s bowling so slowly that if he doesn’t like a ball he can run after it and bring it back.

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Re: Great Cricket Sledges

Post by Scrappy on Thu Nov 08, 2012 9:46 am

We were well on top of the opposition , and had the game won
An opposition middle order batsman was in an obstinate mood
He was occupying the crease , but unwilling to take the game on
Our talented opening bowler was bowling to him
The first 4 balls of the over comprehensively beat the batsman outside off stump
I was the frustrated skipper watching this dour batsman being out classed
Most of our fielders were encouraging the bowler a lad by the nick name of Dingo
They were yelling out words of encouragement , and predicting the inevitable dismissal
Dingo bowled the fifth ball of the over, and again beat the outside edge
The chorus of well bowled, youll get im mate, its a matter of time , great bowling , reverberated amongst the players

When the talk subsided , I yelled out loud enough for all and sundry to hear
"'Hey Dingo lets see how F......G good you are, see if you can hit the middle of his bat."

Laughter abided for some time
Even the batsman with the initials JT had a smile

The last ball of the over, you guessed it, beaten outside off stump ...
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Re: Great Cricket Sledges

Post by Scrappy on Fri Nov 23, 2012 8:04 am

Was playing in a Semi Final
We dismissed the opposition for 100
We were cock o hoop
One opposition batsman,I will name HH, who had scored a double ton in this comp the previous season , was dismissed for 0 , much to the lads delight
We had devised a plan for HH and got him out cheaply during the season, and more importantly in this Final

In chasing this meagre total we slumped to a precarious 8/66
I was dismissed for 10 on the fall of the eighth wicket
I was a shattered skipper
As I dejectedly walked off the ground HH within a close proximity gave it to me , he yelled out incessantly as I walked off
He yelled out things along the line of me being over-rated, a choker, **** weak etc etc
It was without doubt the worst sledging I had taken in all my years of playing cricket
For my part, I just took it in my stride, and totally ignored him

Our 8/66 became 9/76
That man Dingo was batting with WH
Incredibly they put on 30 for the last wicket to guide us to 106
We won by 6 runs

At the conclusion of the game I attracted the attention of HH and yelled out
"" Hey , HH , we won by 6 runs, geez my 10 runs were handy ....

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Re: Great Cricket Sledges

Post by Scrappy on Tue Nov 27, 2012 8:30 am

Merv Hughes bowling to Imran Khan

"" I bowled several bouncers at him, all of which he swung at and missed
I mentioned to him that I thought he might be too old to be playing Test Cricket.
He just smiled at me and said ''Youre quite right , but at least Im not fat like you."

Imran Khan went on to become the International Cricketer of the Year that year !
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Re: Great Cricket Sledges

Post by Scrappy on Thu Jan 03, 2013 9:56 am

AN under strength England was walloped 2-0 by West indies in the Carrabean series of 1948

England selector George Gubby Allen [the bowler who refused to bowl Bodyline in 1932-1933] had this to say to Englands veteran batsman Joe Hardstaff after that West Indies series

GUBBY : Youre the worst senior pro I have ever had the misfortune to travel with
JOE : Youre the worst f...g captain Ive ever played with
GUBBY : You'll never play for England again Hardstaff [will the real Hard Staff stand up !]
JOE : I bet I do
GUBBY : If you do I'll give you 100 pound

In the WI tour Joe Hardstaff made
98 +0
3 + 63
9 + 64
Reasonable numbers for a batsman closer to 40 years of age than 30
Hardstaff finished with a Test average of 46.74 from 1935-1948

A few months later Joe Hardstaff was indeed selected to play for England against Bradmans Invincibles

George Gubby Allen kept his word and sent Joe Hardstaff a cheque for 100 pounds
Joe Hardstaff tore the cheque into several pieces and posted it back !
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Re: Great Cricket Sledges

Post by Scrappy on Mon Jan 07, 2013 11:14 am

"Im told thet Peter Roebuck is flying out to have a man to man talk with me
I suggest he stays in London
He'll be a lot safer there."

By Ian Beefy Botham
After hearing confirmation that Somerset was sacking Joel Garner and Viv Richards

The axings happened in 1986
Roebuck , captain of Somerset 1986, is alleged to be an instigator of the axings, citing age and performances as reasons

Ian Botham also left Somerset after this to play for Worcestershire


Peter Roebuck later became present day Australian Test Cricketer Ed Cowans teacher
Ed made his maiden first class ton against South Africa recently
12/12/2012 Ed Cowans made 136 against South Africa
12/12/2011 Peter Roebuck died in South Africa , when Australia was touring South Africa , bizzare symmetry indeed

As for Beefy Botham
It is said he played, mimicked and acted like an AustralIAN

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Re: Great Cricket Sledges

Post by Adelaide Hawk on Tue Jan 08, 2013 6:03 pm

I won't comment on Roebuck because they say you shouldn't speak ill of the departed.

I will, however, tell you something about Ian Botham.

Years ago, the Sturt Cricket Club celebrated our centenary year and at the dinner, Ian Botham was guest speaker. It was arranged through a member of the club whose wife had a business liaison with Botham's wife.

Botham flew in from England, attended the dinner, flew out again to New Zealand, and all it cost the club was a free dinner. Botham could have charged big time, but all he asked for was a bottle of wine from the member's private collection.

That is why I will always rate Beefy extremely highly as a great cricketer and a damned good bloke.
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Re: Great Cricket Sledges

Post by Lee on Tue Jan 08, 2013 6:18 pm

Nice to hear stories like that, AH.

Helps to judge people better.

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Re: Great Cricket Sledges

Post by Scrappy on Tue Jan 22, 2013 5:49 pm

"If you want to look at circuses , you'd better look at Australia fielding its third X1."


By Kerry Packer
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Re: Great Cricket Sledges

Post by Adelaide Hawk on Tue Jan 22, 2013 6:29 pm

Scrappy wrote:"If you want to look at circuses , you'd better look at Australia fielding its third X1."


By Kerry Packer

Kinda like the ODI team that played in game 2 at Adelaide Oval.
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Re: Great Cricket Sledges

Post by Adelaide Hawk on Tue Jan 22, 2013 6:32 pm

For sledges, I liked the simplicity of the Sri Lankan fan in the crowd holding up a sign reading "Keep on rotating Australia". Smile
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Re: Great Cricket Sledges

Post by Booney on Wed Jan 23, 2013 9:29 am

Chambo Off To Work We Go wrote:
Dean Waugh (Aus) and Richard Stobo (Aus)
Dean Waugh, the younger brother of cricket prodigies Steve and mark Waugh, had a much more modest career than his famous brothers. Never rising above the Grade cricket level.
During a Grade cricket game Waugh was struggling bad against former NSW bowler Stobo, and Stobo had a question for him.
“Mate, are you sure you aren’t ....ng adopted?”

Mark Waugh, sledging one of the Holyoak brothers who played for England. The Holyoak turns around and replies with "At least I'm the best player in my family"
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Re: Great Cricket Sledges

Post by Gingernuts on Wed Jan 23, 2013 10:19 am

My favourite is Ian Healy's sledge of Arjuna Rantatunga after he called for a runner.

“You don’t get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat ****”

Heals obviously liked getting stuck into Arjuna, he offered this advice to Warne as he was trying to entice him into a drive in another game:

"Put a Mars Bar on a good length, that should do it."
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